2011- 1- 24
|
#10
|
|
أكـاديـمـي ألـمـاسـي
|
رد: ♥ṃy ρεɾṡoṉαl ṡραсε
Write your mind out, Doosh
`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._. ·`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·
Change was the subject of my thoughts many times before. I suppose it was the only thing i could think about. The only reasonable explanation for all the bad things that’s ever happened. Sadly, it still confuses me.. Ever since i started thinking too much of everything, i generated those very weird classifications and categories for specific thoughts. for times. for feelings. I’v always been my own fool though.. Always doing things my way following my Mind. Of course i wouldn’t just learn from people’s mistakes, I’d want to have my own conclusion of every single situation and of every story. Convinced at all times that i, surely, will see it differently. Because nobody thinks the same… Because we are all different. We lead different lives. Well, the thing is that in the end i was the one who changed. going through all and living my own story. I Changed. You see, its probably the only way you can survive in a place where you don’t want to be. Specially when you start thinking that you’v got nothing to lose and you just want it to end anyways so, trying anything wont hurt at all. Explaining that out loud to Mrwa got me thinking that i actually sound like a lunatic hehe but i guess she already knows i am. as she always told me, Ever since she met me, The whole world was something and My world was something else :D . at least she knows. at least Abee knows.. At least Tifa and Ghadi knew.. Unfortunately Bony didn’t know it
As to my justification for the change, I’v been weak. Thinking i needed to change to adapt. that matter still confuses me really. But what i know is that my head has a huge cloud of Negative following it around. I know all this is stupid and i shouldn’t sound or think like that. I know. But my Happy was taken away from me and i donno what else to do.. I’m only a human after all. My heart still beats. My mind still remembers..
Well, despite all of the negativity. i’m taking this much better than i thought. When i thought about this in the past, i thought i wouldn’t be able to Breath.. I thought life would stop and i would sleep throughout my days and nights. I thought i’d be telling the whole world about my tragedy to feel better. Yet, Im breathing, sleeping as normal as my sleep can be, and haven’t talked about it so i would just keep it and forget it. Sometimes it feels fine. Sometimes its just sad. But i’m learning new things now. I’m being well in my way. I’m keeping it for me.
I learned yesterday that a Red X can be something positive
“The Hard and Harder”
|
|
|
|
|
|