2011- 1- 24
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#11
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أكـاديـمـي ألـمـاسـي
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?Like I don't exist
»Like I don't exist«
I Miss my laptop.. it’s been my greatest friend for the past few years. My Music, Pictures, my Notes and my Desktop… I wish I never let it fall as much in college :( I’m homeless now going through the worst days, I believe. Moving from Duaa’s laptop to Abee’s and then to Mama’s which is killing me because it’s Vaio! Anyway, I’m in for a real Drama today.. Yuss yuss, my thoughts are yours to read. They’re not very pleasant I suppose. They can be real funny in a year or so :D at least to me hehe.
It took me almost 2 years to feel fine about Buffy leaving. I wonder how long it would take me to be fine now that Bird had left too. The thing is that, there’s only so much I can take… You see, as I said before and will still say until I donno how long, People are the hardest to replace. I can always change my glasses and feel fine with the new ones and live my life perfectly. As perfect as a human’s life can ever be. Well, I don’t care about my glasses.. I lose them every year it’s become a tradition to me, one that doesn’t hurt… Because they are pretty much easy to replace. I’m probably gonna stop wearing them soon but I’m not crying about it! Because they are damn glasses! Not people, Not Dear Friends!! I wish all my friends were made of plastic, In which case I would always find another that would fill right in. But my people aren’t sweet plastics… In my three worlds, My dear ones are made of different materials.. Sometimes Real. So Real… Like In Reality, My Friends are skin and bone, flesh and blood.. They are Tears and Smiles. In my Dreams, People change from lighter to darker, Clear to Faded, They’re sometimes Hearts or Souls. But in my Screen.. They become thoughts and feelings, text and faces, They’re a stupid Lie and an ugly Truth.. But there’s this thing about my worlds… They are all in one and they sometimes get mixed up. I guess all this proves how insane I am. Well, at least I know it :) even though Sad is the only emotion which gets me writing, I suppose it’s better than cursing the whole universe.
I realize that the world doesn’t stop when I want it to, neither does it end whenever I wished it would. I know for sure that my problems are nothing comparing to others. I’m just a loser who thinks too much. But sometimes my thoughts lead me to good things. Like what I gain from each experience. Knowing those people helped me a lot. Like I wouldn’t have this taste in music if it weren’t for Bird & Clowny… I wouldn’t have as much appreciation for imagination if it weren’t for Lilly. Lol as much as it hurts to admit it, she was a Great storyteller! I believed her too much. Without each of my Mortals I wouldn’t have learned that its all right to be completely Honest. Even if truth hurts me! I learned that I should not be afraid of saying or writing what I Really wanna say. Even if I thought it sounded stupid! I’m still learning from all the people I know. I’m still working on it. I will be better and Fine. I will be fine even if it meant: I never existed.
The world is still the same, People are still dying. In Kuwait, Few days ago, Captain Hussain passed away. I remember him when I was a kid living practically at Abee’s and butting in every tennis practice and him not minding me joining. I know his kids will be scarred for life.. I just hope they’d be fine in a while. In Jeddah, A child was found in a stolen car next to his school. One of his arms was cut off and he was slaughtered. He was only 6 and a half. His mother and father will be scarred for life. I hope they find the Assholes who did it. All this and the world remains the same. It would still be the same to some people, But I doubt it would be the same for those people. Allah yer7am mawtana… Ameen
Finally, this was brought out by one person. To Bird,The Musician, The Writer, and the best Friend.
“I only fear that I don’t have enough time left to tell the world that there’s no time left”
Forgive Me,
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