There are many mistakes in that paragraph
First one I had already talking to her before she called you
correction is I had already talked to her before she called you past perfect
tense
the second mistake is This wall was build by my grandfather
correct is This wall was built by my grandfather because passive sentence
Are you tired? Do you want to make a break third one is
Are you tired? Do you want to take a break
Who's pen is this? Can I borrow it? I want to write a letter fifth is
Whose pen is this? Can I borrow it? I want to write a letter
I have not seen any mistake in the fourth statement